Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Dear Racegoing Female;

Dear Racegoing Female,
I only hope today that you have thought of several things;
If you have to think about the colour of your undies, just in case someone might see them when you sit down, uncross your legs etc... then that is NOT a modest hemline. This is not a nightclub, this is a fashion institution, you can be incredibly sexy with a hemline just above the knee.
If it looks like the saturation levels on your digi camera have been turned right up, you picked the wrong colour fake tan, and should fire your beautician. A fake tan is not just a fake tan, it is a wax, an exfoliation, and a thick slathering of moisturiser... THEN the tan on top. Leave the domination of oompa loompa land to Willy Wonka.
Fascinators should fascinate. Hats are not an afterthought, and will make or break your outfit. Sure, make it yourself ONLY and ONLY if you know what you are doing.
If if you think (even for a second) that those killer heels are going to be your arch nemesis by this evening... dont wear them in the first place! The only thing that shits me the most is stillettos slung over your shoulder and bare feet. Harden up, or wear flats. You are putting our sex to shame by stumbling aroound in pretty pink toenail polish and crusty dirty feet.

Thank you, have a lovely day, and please make a concerted effort to see at least one horse belting around the track :o)

Kaye

2 comments:

kate said...

hahaha best post ever. so true, so true :)couldnt have said it better myself :)

and your trip to bali looks amazing! so jealous!

Miss Kaye said...

hahaha yeah I saw some prime examples at Flinders Street on Thursday... wish I had my camera! I could be the new sartorialist blogger! Only, with more trash :P